Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
