I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
