I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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