Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
