Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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