You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
