A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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