I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
