Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
