Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
