I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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