next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
