Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
