Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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