That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
