It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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