That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
