is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
