what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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