Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
