we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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