these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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