Your dad touched me again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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