I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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