My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
