Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
