Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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