oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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