if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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