i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
