I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
