her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the barista slut.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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