the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
