I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
