I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
