I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You made out with two different species that night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
