That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
false alarm. still invincible.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
