whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
