that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
