I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
