Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
