i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
