the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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