At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
