If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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