K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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