You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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