I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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