i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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