i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
