I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
